Tag: compassion

4 golden rules of networking


4 golden rules of networking 

There are still some sales folks around who will explosion vomit their solutions all over their potential customers followed immediately by asking for more business. Wow. Good luck with that approach. Relationships are earned – there are not owed to you.

Patience, value creating, and competency are needed in copious amounts in order for you to be offered an open ear. Only then can any solid relationship happen. Just slipping your business card quickly into people’s hands during your first encounter – especially C level folks – is usually a waste of time. Networking events are for providing value and for connecting people of value to others. Here are four things to consider when networking:

  • Be prepared to add value to your new contact. This is by far the most important point in any networking activity. If you have nothing to add to any new relationship then don’t wonder why your circle of relationships does not increase. Remember that it is not important whom you know, it is more important who knows and remembers you.
  • Willingness to give before asking for anything. Honestly, do you really think that asking for favors the first time you meet someone will get you anywhere? You may luck out guilt tripping someone into giving you something, but is that sustainable in the long run? Approaching anyone with an open heart, soul, and your intellect / mind and making sure that you are willing to give your talents away helping someone else is the best way to start your networking process.
  • Invest your time smartly – but please make sure that you do spend time with your newfound friend. Only when you get to spend some significant quality time together will you really get to appreciate new folks and old alike. When people see and get to experience first-hand that you are the real deal you make a deeper connection that is trust based. That is the essence of relationship building.
  • Make sure you are genuine and sincere. Be genuinely compassionate with everybody. Compassion means that you are suffering with someone else. That is what it is all about. When you care enough to stop noticing what the real issue is that someone has, only then will you be able creating a much more genuine relationship. Listening and truly understanding where someone is coming from is essential for applying the correct technology / method to solving issues.

Networking is easy and effective if you are willing to give first. There is only one thing that you can ask. Ask for whom may be able to help you, or ask for another connection this person could possibly offer to you. Your new contacts owe you nothing, certainly not respect or their time. Earn their attention by working hard connecting them with new people, ideas, concepts, products, and services. Only then will you become a master at networking and your income potential rises with it.

Ralf

Discover 1 way of looking at fighting with cancer


Discover 1 way of looking at fighting with cancer 

Yet another good friend of mine is fighting with a serious form of cancer. A co-worker’s mom lost her battle a few weeks ago. Why would you go on living? Life can be such a lemon. I am sure that any of you have similar issues to deal with. The outlook is outright bleak in terms of the odds getting cancer throughout your lifetime. What do you do when fate is handing you such a big lemon?

The question of quality of life will come up eventually. Friends and family will think about it. Whoever is affected by this terrible disease will think about it. Some might even openly discuss it. Why would you go on suffering? When is enough, enough? When will hope finally let you down?

Yes, there is a lot of suffering, but there is an awful lot of living too. It may be the blessing of the long good-bye, and then again you may end up getting cured. Let hope go last. In the meantime there are an awful lot of people who depend on you, they suffer and laugh with you, and they will look up to you.

Then consider all the things that are truly important to you. How much of the must-do list are checked off? How about that wedding or the grand child you wanted to greet upon arrival? Is that not worth living and suffering for?

The initial chaos of any bad diagnosis will soon give way to new routines and your new “normalcy”. That will also include humor and laughter.

Pick up a bag of sugar and start making lemonade of the lemons life puts in your way. You can only make a difference when you are here with us. That is the legacy that you can leave behind, which will be eternal. Here is to making it through another day.

Ralf

1 way how to turn a bad conversation into a positive one


1 way how to turn a bad conversation into a positive one 

Most conversations go awry when one person starts to use an accusatory tone. This can sound like this: “You always ignore me”, “You never consider my opinion”, or “Can you ever plan ahead?”

This kind of lingo can start a downward spiral of events. For one using “you” in this context typically is like poking your finger in the other person’s chest. Always, never, ever, etc, are rather strong words and most likely were not meant literally. Once offended the other person may start fighting back. And why not? After all, “always”, “never”, “ever” are very rarely true in the literal sense. The moment the other person also starts throwing similar sentences the other way, a battle of the minds will typically ensue. Even worse are those people of us who say such things to intentionally hurt and drawing pleasure from putting their friends, family, co-workers, employees, etc. down.

So, how can you turn this situation around? A way out is using the expression of feelings rather than using accusatory statements. If you can express how certain behaviors hurt you and how they make you feel, it is typically much easier for the other party to understand what has led to the issue in the first place. Also, the other person’s mental shutters and personal defense system are not engaged and a much more sincere and genuine conversation can happen.

So what could the sentences above sound like? Let’s try this: “When you do not pay attention to me while I am speaking with you makes me feel sad and undervalued.”, “Sometimes I feel like my opinion is not valued at all; it makes me feel ignored”, “Whenever you do not plan ahead I feel like you do not value my time and my day ends up in chaos”.

See the difference? Emphasis lies in expression how a certain behavior makes you feel and how it affects you. This is the way how to keep the conversation at a really professional and factual level. It does not offend and is not intended to make you get even with the other person. A much more fruitful discussion can result. Have fun trying it out.

Ralf

9 items that help define what success means to you


9 items that help define what success means to you 

Success. There are so many questionable definitions and ideals about it bombarding us every day from early childhood on. Very often it is being portrayed as something that has to do only with status, number and type of friends, vacations, appearance, money, happiness, education, family size, heritage, size of home, expensive hobbies, type and number of cars, etc. The more, the better. Right? Well, perhaps.

Good news is that each one of us can and should define success on an individual basis. Tough part of this is deciding what success means to you. Here are 9 ways of looking at it and I invite you to ponder this list in peace and quiet. Yes, this means that you will need to spend some time to do this, but it allows for you getting closer to living on purpose – your specific purpose.

Ponder the following 9 questions. Reflect upon which one(s) light you up the most. How is your current life aligned with your answer? You are getting closer to defining your purpose.

  • The Mind: When you are done here on Earth do you want for more truth, knowledge and wisdom to exist because you were here? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the mind.
  • The Body: When you are done here on Earth do you want there to be more fitness, wholeness, a better way to feed and clothe the hungry and poor? Do you want to build the strength and vitality of the body? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the body.
  • The Senses: When you are done here on Earth do you want there to be more beauty? Do you want to create something for all the senses to enjoy a sense of beauty and sustainability? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the senses.
  • The Will and Conscience: When you are done here on Earth do you want here to be more justice, morality, honesty, righteousness? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the will and your conscience.
  • The Spirit: When you are done here on Earth do you want for there to be more spirituality, compassion, empathy, wholeness of family, forgiveness, and faith in the world? How about a better and deeper connection with God? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the spirit.
  • Entertainment: When you are done here on Earth do you want for there to be more laughter, joy, perspective, lightening of people’s hearts and spirit? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of entertainment.
  • Possessions: When you are done here on Earth do you want for there to be a better way of sustaining ourselves here, a better handling of our possessions, a clearer picture of what is enough versus more is better? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of possessions.
  • The Earth: When you are done here on Earth do you want for there to be a more sustainable way to live on our planet, more exploration (not exploitation) of our Earth and Universe? Do you want to find a better way to deal with finding future sources of energy, clean water, clean air, land for everyone to enjoy? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the Earth.

Which topic excites you the most? How does your heart, mind, and instinct respond to each point? What challenge within that topic would you want to tackle? Which invokes the most passionate response within you? Which one are you drawn to the most?

I leave you with my favorite poem trying to define success:

What is success?

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people

and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics

and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by

a healthy child, a garden patch

or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed

easier because you have lived;

This is to have succeeded.

Bessie Anderson Stanley (traditionally attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Remember that the simple things in life are typically the best, and they are the toughest to discern as they typically reside right before our eyes and we can often not see them. Happy pondering!

If you want to explore this further there is a terrific resource for that in the book “What color is your parachute?” by Richard N Bolles.

Ralf