One of the worst relationship busters – and it is not hatred 

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You would think that the opposite of love is hatred. That is not it. It is contempt and indifference. Think about how this applies in your romantic and also work related relationships. The reason why contempt is such an effective relationship buster is because it is a slow and deceptive process that is barely recognizable. Along the way you tolerate the little things that we may not like about the partner. When then one partner tries changing the other this can easily derail the mutual respect. You can easily get wrapped up in starting to pursue different interests spending less time together. Our newest electronic devices (and thus vices) may additionally tax the attention span we may have for each other. Finally we may start criticizing the partner more often and at greater intensity. Contempt takes over our thinking process. After a while we may start feeling more and more disconnected and indifference and emotional distance set it.

Should this happen to you there is a key question to ask when a heated discussion ensues and you are no longer sure if your relationship is salvageable: “Now that our journey seems to be coming to an end, can you please tell me at what time I veered off course and what it was that I should have done differently.” When you listen (that means you need to listen to understand and not to respond) think on your feet and listen for new and old revelations that you could change or do immediately. Whatever your partner tells you is the roadmap of your possible path together again. Then share your side of the story. You need to just make sure that that is what you wanted in the first place. Also, keep focusing on why you fell in love with your significant other in the first place. In nine of ten cases that person is still there.

Ralf