Tag: commitment

3 elements of powerful decision making


3 elements of powerful decision making 

We make so many decisions every day that we can barely recall them all. Then there are these decisions that keep us up at night. That is because we have someone or something that we really want to pursue; it feels right and we so want to make progress and yet we do not have a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Makes for a terrible night of uneasy sleep, huh? When we are really infatuated with an idea, chances are we may be making a really risky decision that we will regret later on. Never making a decision is just as bad. The older we get we make decisions more and more with our intellect. It is however heavily influenced by historical events because we want to limit our pain that comes from having made a poor decision.

So what can we do?

The secret of powerful decision making lies in the power of three: Intellect, Heart, and Instinct. What I mean by that is creating your version of a decision balance sheet. It is divided in these three main categories.

Typically, your first response to any given decision you have to make is taking you down the right path. Make a note of what that is. This is the first reaction to a decision you are facing. Now enter what your heart – meaning compassion, empathy, love, passion, etc – tries telling you. Now reflect on what your intellect is telling you. In other words you are breaking up your decision tree to a more manageable decision tripod.

Resist the urge to the extent possible arguing your way to a result you wanted to get to from the get go. Instead, start with your question that keeps you up first. Then follow your answers to all three main criteria. Finally round it all up with pondering if and how your decision will still look like in 2 to 5 years from now. Is it long term sustainable? How much fun will this by in the long run?

Sure, I did almost forget including the element of fun and excitement. Keep that in balance with the risk you are willing to take and you will start sleeping much better. Happy pondering.

Ralf

Letting go of what you want the most in order to get it


Letting go of what you want the most in order to get it 

Sounds counterintuitive but it makes sense: Picture yourself in a canoe going down a small stream and around a bend all of a sudden you see a bunch of boulders directly in your current path. You paddle like crazy and you focus all your attention on the boulders in trying avoiding them. Guess what? You just doomed yourself because you will surely hit them straight on anyway, because you trained your brain to lock in on the rocks – and not where you should have gone.

Anyone playing golf, soccer, football etc gets to use this concept. Getting the ball hitting the target works best when you imagine the ball in the place where it needs to go. Now reflect upon your social and work life. What and where are the boulders that you have your eyes set on? Do you want to hit them? Flip this around by pondering and imagining a desired and positive outcome for yourself. Voila! You have reset the clocks and can now tap into the power of hitting your target.

Ralf

7 distraction tactics – avoid e-mail and social media running and ruining your life


7 distraction tactics – avoid e-mail and social media running and ruining your life 

Distractions loom at every corner of our lives. There is barely any moment anymore when we are not bombarded by interruption marketers and tons of visual pollution. TV, our online world, our “smart” phones, and the newest domain – our cars are getting Wi-Fi hotspots. They all are jam packed with distractions.

All this clutter means clutter in your head. Clutter and chatter leads to you thinking you got a lot done at the end of a day when in fact you only made incremental progress. Instead of feeling elated you feel frustrated. This distraction is costly.

One key area you can make a huge difference almost instantaneously is how you use your e-mail and the Internet.

  • Turn off your e-mail notification. Do you ever catch yourself clicking on the new mail link right away? You are at least looking at the notification for a while, right? If so, turn it off. Turn off the sounds too.
  • Never read e-mail first thing in the morning. Take a peek if you have any emergencies at hand. Otherwise, do not open or answer any mail until you have carried out your first couple tasks you wanted to get done for the day.
  • Set a time and schedule e-mail responses in your calendar. Yes, putting a placeholder in your schedule will allow for fewer interruptions and unscheduled meetings to surprise you.
  • If you are not in the “To” address line, do not read the mail. You may think I am crazy, but this is a great distraction buster. My logic is that if the person mailing you did not think it was important enough placing you in the “To” line, then why should I read it? Skim it when you have time. It teaches your folks sending you mail to really think about if they really need your input.
  • Divide and conquer your inbox. Divide your mail into two types: The ones you will respond to during the course of the day. The other ones you change to the “unread” status. Here is what you do with it if you have not responded to it in three weeks: DELETE it. If this much time has gone by and no one is asking for an answer it could not have been important. Radical? Perhaps, but it is extremely effective.
  • Only leave your “unread mail” view open. This assures that you are not getting side tracked by other and old mail. Out of sight, out of mind.
  • Only leave Internet browser tabs open that are relevant to what you need to do. Leaving social media ones and inactive ones open will only allow further distractions to happen. Leaving them open will also allow certain sites insights as to your online activities and preferences. Close these tabs.

So you don’t believe me how much distractions cost you? Are you up for a challenge? Prove me wrong and for ten days journal how much time you spend on your daily tasks. After ten days read and reflect upon your journal entries. You will be amazed how much time you are spending on e-mail and Internet. Do not let these distractions run and ruin your life.

Ralf

5 ways of how to deal with people that have a closed mind


5 ways of how to deal with people that have a closed mind 

There are probably a few folks that totally get under your skin. They believe in things that you could never subscribe to and they are vocal and obnoxious about it. You would love to argue your point and arguments with them and yet it is like you are speaking with a rock. They will not listen – ever.

A while ago we had a neighbor who had a problem a good friend of mine who used to rent a room from my parents. This friend had a habit to park his car on the side of the neighbor right in front of his property. One day he summoned Werner (my friend) and proclaimed a no parking zone for him in front of his house. “The water and melting snow cannot flow around your tires and the water keeps creating big puddles”.

I am not sure what that to do with anything, but I was later also subject to the same reasoning. Anyway, Werner did not move his car. One day it snowed hard and when he emerged from his apartment to get into his car he found it blocked in by two piles of snow; one behind and the other in front of the car. The neighbor had had his revenge.

He did not know whom he had messed with. Werner never got mad, he got even. His car was one with built-in hydrostatic suspension. He put it on high and flattened the snow mounds in little time. He lowered it as he plowed into the snow until there was no more snow mound left. Ha! The picture above shows Werner with his “present” for the neighbor. He wrote a heartfelt greeting on it. The material (soft pinewood) had something to do with what the neighbor’s head was made of.

All humorous anecdotes aside, there is a six-step process that has a good chance of working when you encounter really head strong and opinionated folks.

  1. Preach and teach once. Then zip it. Make your point and get out. Chances are that if you are lucky you will impact the person for the occasion, but rarely in general. Spare your nerves with going overboard making points to convince people of how correct you are and they are not.
  2. You always have the chance to ignore the person. In fact, that typically is the best response. No sense getting yourself all worked up just to find out that the person responding to your posts and mails is someone that goes with the populous and not with what is the best and most prudent thing to do.
  3. Love them anyway and show empathy and compassion for them. The vast majority of folks cannot stand if they are being treated nicely by their opponents. Hatred is not the answer; only love will prove to be long term sustainable.
  4. No matter what other people do, sometimes you cannot listen to your and their brain chatter and just focus on what more you can do. Who is affected by anything you do or say?
  5. Have some fun with them. Respond in a witty fashion. Much like Werner, try to be as engaging as possible. Who knows? Perhaps one day you can convince a few people to look into the sky with us.

Ignorant people are a daily fact of life. Do not take that in silence. Make sure that you are heard, but then move on. Do not dwell on it. It will not help you, nor will it really do anything with the one whose mind is closed for the day. Do you have a story to tell with ignorant folks? Would love if you shared it with us. Use the comment field below.

Ralf