Tag: empathy

Discover 1 way of looking at fighting with cancer


Discover 1 way of looking at fighting with cancer 

Yet another good friend of mine is fighting with a serious form of cancer. A co-worker’s mom lost her battle a few weeks ago. Why would you go on living? Life can be such a lemon. I am sure that any of you have similar issues to deal with. The outlook is outright bleak in terms of the odds getting cancer throughout your lifetime. What do you do when fate is handing you such a big lemon?

The question of quality of life will come up eventually. Friends and family will think about it. Whoever is affected by this terrible disease will think about it. Some might even openly discuss it. Why would you go on suffering? When is enough, enough? When will hope finally let you down?

Yes, there is a lot of suffering, but there is an awful lot of living too. It may be the blessing of the long good-bye, and then again you may end up getting cured. Let hope go last. In the meantime there are an awful lot of people who depend on you, they suffer and laugh with you, and they will look up to you.

Then consider all the things that are truly important to you. How much of the must-do list are checked off? How about that wedding or the grand child you wanted to greet upon arrival? Is that not worth living and suffering for?

The initial chaos of any bad diagnosis will soon give way to new routines and your new “normalcy”. That will also include humor and laughter.

Pick up a bag of sugar and start making lemonade of the lemons life puts in your way. You can only make a difference when you are here with us. That is the legacy that you can leave behind, which will be eternal. Here is to making it through another day.

Ralf

The 3 types of people and the choice you have got to make


The 3 types of people and the choice you have got to make 

There are three types of people – which one do you belong to?

  1. There are people who watch what happens.
  2. Then there are people who make things happen.
  3. Finally, there are the folks who wonder what happened.

Your happiness depends on knowing to which group you belong and whether or not you are content with that choice.

There is no wrong or right here. There are too many life situations in which all three choices may have merit. In a relationship with your significant other and at work you may want to be with the folks who make things happen. Being with the other two groups of people will most likely end up with long term problems.

Have you given thought to how to make things happen? The day that you start making an active and conscious choice will be the turning point for the better. Taking an active role in shaping your life is a potent antidepressant as well as a huge career advancer. Every ever so little step forward will lead to a sense of accomplishment and thus happiness. Ready to give it a try?

Ralf

6 ways firing negative people from your life


6 ways firing negative people from your life 

There are a lot of negative people who take time and energy away from us. This can range from people who like to gossip, complain, to outright nasty people that complain way too much. Then there are the problem monitors who love pointing out flaws and problems without ever offering a solution. Problem is that they seek you out and you can seemingly not escape them. You endure the conversation, but it drags you down with it and getting back to what you wanted to do takes some time. Time that you do not have. Energy and nerves that you do not have to waste.

There are a few negativity busters that you can use to stay positive and on task.

  1. Being positive. Fire away with your winning smiles. Nothing works better at shushing negative people away like having a great attitude and showing it. Negativity begets negativity, but positivity beats it by a mile.
  2. Humor. A good laugh will send negative folks scurrying to their deep and dark caves. Not taking yourself and others so seriously helps staying positive and also works as nasty people antidote.
  3. Effectiveness. If any conversation is really important than this can be scheduled for another time when it is more convenient for both of you. Saying something like this can be highly effective: “Listen, this sounds like it is really important to you and I unfortunately have another meeting (phone call, etc) to go to. Should I schedule a meeting to discuss this further with you?” In most cases the other person will stop talking and not need to speak with you about this any further.
  4. Walk away. Yes, it is that simple. This has nothing to do with you being rude. Was the other person not rude first by raping your ears with things that do not add value, or worse, were offensive or outright nasty?
  5. Associate with and befriend nice people. Duh, you say? Seek out nice people who add energy, creativity, and fun to your life. Hang out with them as much as you can. You become the average of the 10 people you spend the most time with. The added benefit is that nasty people cannot stand this much fun and harmony and thus will stay far away from you.
  6. Candor. When folks stop by often and you never say a word to them about how this is not ok with you, well, that is YOUR own fault. At times other people can just not read your silent clues. Unvoiced expectations cannot be filled. In most instances all it takes is your candid feedback and the “stalking” can stop right after providing your sincerely meant thoughts on the matter.

Negativity is not sustainable as it has its origin in hatred, envy, and a lack of emotional intelligence (self-awareness). It tries to exclude people and thrive on people’s differences. The antidote is love, laughter, optimism, etc as it founded in inclusion. Isn’t it better leading a well-balanced life where you are part of something bigger, self-sustaining and thus something positive? Start with reflecting upon your own view and then make a difference as soon as you can. Stay happy my friends.

Ralf

2018 is the year that needs to bring people together – Here is one way how you can help


2018 is the year that needs to bring people together – Here is one way how you can help 

We have a lot going on and there are a lot of moments where we are more divided than unified on so many levels. People are on the edge and we get upset at each other seemingly faster than ever before. When people get under your skin because they really loathe you and what you do, the best you can do here is to close your eyes, say a prayer, and whole heartedly forgive them. They hate this even more, but you feel better.

Traffic, work, neighbors, family, school, and so many other places are rich with friends, and also really nasty people. This kind of nastiness can drain you of all your energy and anything you do and even think about, can soon be consume your thoughts and feelings. “All” it takes is engaging your power of choice: choose love and inclusion instead of hatred. This will free your spirit and all but automatically remove the power other people have over you.

Feel brave? One more way to kick things up a notch is to approach the people who hate you openly. Manage to remain friendly, but have the candor of asking them what you can do to make things better. More often than not their anger only resides in their heads because their brains had had a monologue instead of an actual dialog with you.

When that happens their thoughts can spiral out of control and the negativity – sometimes all of it – is a purely homemade issue and you are only a cheap pawn in this blame game. Worse yet, since you were never invited to a dialog you do not even know what their grudge may be all about. That is something you can do something about by opening up and approaching them.

Hatred is tiresome and draining. Most of all it is not long term sustainable without causing other issues. This can change overnight if you are willing to make the greatest change of all: Changing yourself. Choose love and forgiveness and the world and people will open up to you. Most of all, choose how you want to react rather than letting instincts take over your life. May 2018 help get us to stand united again.

Ralf